During this time that I have been doing research to learn how to build a website, I have thought about the name at length. What in the world will I call this site? I brainstormed on paper. I tried to think of catchy titles. I tried to think of rhyming words. I didn't like anything I was coming up with. I then turned to the thesaurus. I looked up synonyms for "fat". The emotional response within me when I read the words "heavy set" surprised me. Those two words brought me back to childhood, and the humiliation I felt when I was labeled as "heavy set", which was pretty much any time that clothing purchases were involved. I'm certain that the adults who referred to me as "heavy set" were trying to be kind while noticing the fatness, but I still felt like I was abnormal because of my size.
I also recall the chant "Fatty, fatty two by four! Can't get through the kitchen door!" That was in grade school. Moving up through teen years, of course there were those who made comments about my weight/size. As an adult, yep. It still happens. It happened a week ago. I was having a conversation with someone I know well. I said something like," If _________were the case right now, I would be upset!" and the response I got, with the ol' nod and wide eyes,"Yeah, you would kick my ass!" I'm not sure why some people assume that I am violent because I am fat, but they do. I've never kicked anyone's ass in my life. I wonder if I could? I'm fat, so I must be able to....right?
I don't have an unrealistic goal that my feelings will never get hurt again once I am not fat, but, my goodness, how sweet it will be to never hear those words as descriptions of me again. Heavy set. Fat. Amazon woman. Big gal. Hefty. Husky. And oh so many more.
This weight loss journey will not only be physical and behavioral, but very spiritual and emotional as well. Thanks for reading, and I hope you will be hanging out with me as I walk this path of wellness, purpose, and abundance.