I first learned about the stages of grief long ago, probably in high school when I took courses to prepare me for college and my degree in nursing. Since that time, I have gone through the stages multiple times. We all have! We have lost people we love. This grief doesn't just occur when someone you love dies, it also occurs when someone you love betrays your love and trust. Specifically, in the case of my friend currently, a person's significant other, be it a spouse, life partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever. This holiday season, amid all my joyous preparations for family time and church events, I have witnessed the death of love and trust, and the beginnings of the grief process for my friend.
The 5 stages of grief (some publications list 7, but I'll stick to the "big 5" haha) are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. My friend got the news ON CHRISTMAS. The denial stage in this case was thickly laced with shock and disbelief. I was on the "friend distress phone call" for quite awhile. I must admit, I was pretty shocked as well. I didn't expect THAT relationship to have the outcome that has now presented itself.
I spent a good amount of time with my friend during the week between Christmas and the New Year. (Sorry about my lack of presence here; didn't mean to ignore you all!!) I have not been careful about my calorie intake during this time. I've put 4 pounds on. I'll snap out of that soon lol.
So, anyway, during the week of extra friend time, I saw the shock and disbelief turn angry. Let me tell you, somebody is MAD. Lol. Very mad. I heard a lot of "I'm going to ___________ (insert mean stuff) and then I'm going to ____________(insert more mean stuff) until the _____________(insert mean name calling words) chokes on it." I, of course, agreed with the dastardly plans that came up. That's what besties do, right?
I'm curious to see what the bargaining stage might be in this case. I suspect it will be intertwined with the anger still. Something like, if the offender plays it cool and tries to be a good person during the break up, my friend will let the offender live. Hahaha....did I mention that my friend is angry?
I know there will be depression, and I will be around to try to be cheery during that time. Then the acceptance will come. I know this friend will be fine. It just sucks when stuff like this happens. It really throws a person for a loop. A life plan changed in an instant. After all is said and done, the friend will be happy, because happiness is intrinsic to that one. The offender, on the other hand, no intrinsic happiness there. Bad choice to have screwed over such a nice person.
I have to give a shout out regarding my essential oil life right now! I shared some oils with my distressed friend. Oils have emotional effects as well. I chose to share one called "Envision". It is a blend of several single oils. The product description: "Envision contains scents that stimulate feelings of creativity and resourcefulness encouraging renewed faith in the future and the strength necessary to achieve your dreams." My friend is facing moving away from the offender, and really needs renewed faith and strength right now! If you ever want to try an oil I talk about, just let me know. I will gladly share my stash!